Separations, break ups and divorces can really take their toll on everyone involved. This includes the parties themselves but most importantly their children and not to forget extended family and friends.

So how can that be avoided? Is the amicable split the preserve of the rich and famous only ? And is it realistic to try to stay friends throughout the process and into the future?

At BTMK, we understand that navigating a separation can be incredibly challenging. While every situation is unique, we strongly believe that when possible, an amicable approach can benefit everyone involved. By encouraging open communication and collaborative problem-solving, we hope to support couples to find mutually agreeable solutions that minimise conflict and prioritise the well-being of all parties, especially children.

This can be achieved by keeping a few simple messages clear in your head:-

1. Always keep the children as your main priority and try to protect them from as much of the disagreement and separation as possible. Don’t use negative language about your spouse in front of the children and remind them that they are not to blame and that both parents still love them and will always care for them.
2. Keep communicating. Many issues that occur are caused by misunderstandings and confusion. These issues can often be avoided if you are able to keep the lines of communication open. You may need to use the services of a mediator to assist in this process as they will be neutral in the process.
3. Take your time and find space when you need it. These situations can often feel overpowering and take over your life. You may find it hard to concentrate. At these times it is important to take a step back and breathe.
4. Seek support. Friends, family, colleagues will all understand what you are going through and their help and support will be invaluable.
5. Be honest. This means being honest not just with your spouse but with yourself. What do you hope to achieve? What do you need to do to move on to the next stage. Think carefully and be realistic and honest with yourself.
6. Seek specialist help when needed. Many people fear that lawyers will merely make matters worse and cause further acrimony. This is far from the truth. Good lawyers will act on your instructions and if you make it clear you want to resolve matter in a friendly and cost effective manner, they will assist you in doing so. Other professionals including financial advisors, mortgage brokers, estate agents all should be able to help you understand and simplify the process.

We also acknowledge that in some circumstances, a more robust approach is necessary. This is especially when there are allegations of domestic violence, or unreasonable behaviour, or the risk of steps which put the family finances at risk. If this is the case, rest assured, we’re experienced enough to protect your position and to give you all the advice that you need and to get the Courts to step in if necessary and to protect your position.

• Share article: